worlds and time and music

Flames lick the rocks on the edge of our fire pit. Mac has the guitar, and she's playing for all she's worth. She's good, too. 

The chorus comes around, and we all -- Mac, Colin, Logan, Chase, and me -- start singing. 

We're good singers, too. When you're around music as much as we are, you get a feel for harmonies and timing and music stuff.

I love nights like this. All I need is friends, coffee, and a guitar or two. We seem separate from everyone else, from homework and drama and the crap of life. We're hidden, just us and the fire and music and lake and the occasional cricket.

Mac passes the guitar to Chase, who starts strumming a softer song. I like how all of listen to the same music, but we all have preferences within that music. Mac likes the rock, Chase likes acoustic, Logan like electronic, and for Colin and I it just depends on our moods. 

Mac curls up next to Logan. I pull my blanket tighter. Chase keeps strumming, but it's just background music. 

"Remember, in The Perks of Being a Wallflower, when Charlie say he felt infinite?" Logan asks. "I think it was the tunnel part."

"Yes," I say softly. "This is like that."

"Nah," Chase switches to a minor chord. "This is like being in a parallel universe. We're outside of time here."

Colin wraps his arm around me. "I agree with Chase. I don't think that this will last forever. But I also don't think believe is actually passing right now. Once we get back in the car and go home, then we're back in the real world."

"I like this world," Mac says. "Chase, play something we can sing."

He switches the guitar for his ukulele and starts us out.

She asked me "son, when I grow old,

will you buy me a house of gold?"

It sounds really good, until we get to the "become someone" part. We all yell it, and then start laughing too hard to continue. 

I don't want to leave our little haven. We're safe here, hidden, unnoticed. Nothing required. 

Just us and the music of our world.

Divergent: Movie vs. Book

We all know I loved Divergent. I read it... like a year ago, I guess. Maybe more. Anywho, I loved it, finished it in a night. When I heard about the movie, I got pretty excited. I tend to get excited for movies.

I am extremely wary of book-to-movie adaptions after past bad experiences (Read: PERCY JACKSON MOVIES), but I have regained some hope after Catching Fire. So Holly, Lil, and I dressed up in the colors of different factions (Abnegation, Amity, and Erudite respectively) and went to the movie.

I was pleasantly surprised. No, it wasn't perfect. It wasn't amazing. But it was really good.

Divergent is a dystopian (post-apocalyptic, oppressive society-based) novel. Beatrice (Tris) Prior lives in the remains of Chicago some hundred years after the third world war. The city is split into five factions in an attempt to keep peace. Dauntless, who blamed cowardice for the war; Erudite, who blamed ignorance; Abnegation, who blamed selfishness; Candor, who blamed deceit; and Amity, who blamed aggression.

Tris is sixteen, and it is time for her to take the aptitude test, which will tell her what faction is best for her. Only it doesn't work. She is Divergent, someone who can be in more than one faction, someone who, in the government's eyes, cannot be controlled.

Tris has to hide her Divergence as much as possible to save her life. At the same time, she has to survive Dauntless initiation, go through boy problems, and possibly stop a full-scale war.

The movie did follow the main plot, which is the most important part. Events were out of order, and some things were changed (the almost final scene in the control room, Visitor's Day, Edward getting... oh, spoilers. Shh), but it was still clearly the same story.

The second most important part, the characters, was weaker aspect of the movie. Some were amazing. I liked Tris a lot in the movie, especially when Four was in her fear landscape. You go, girl. I thought Shailene Woodley did an excellent job portraying her. My favorite characters, however, were actually adults. Kate Winslet, who played Jeanine Matthews, was amazing. But Tris's mom, (Ashley Judd) was spectacular. I don't know how, but she was so convincing in everything she did. She was just likable and believable.

The major thing that disappointed me about the movie were the minor characters. Christina, Will, Al, and even Peter didn't get enough screen time, and not nearly enough character development. Peter, while a jerk, was not nearly the vicious, evil guy he is in the book. Christina and Will... they felt a bit flat, compared to the books. Al did not generate all the mixed emotions you feel in the book (pity, awkwardness, anger). Other characters didn't even make it in. Plus, Will, Al, and Peter (and this may just be me) ALL LOOKED ALIKE. So that was extremely confusing.

And then there was Four. Again, he did not generate the same emotions as he did in the book. In the book he shows a vulnerable side, which I love. You don't typically get a hero with vulnerability. It was awesome. In the movie, that's skimmed over. Also, I was bummed when I saw how Tris and Four reacted to Marcus at the end. In the book, it's dramatic and epic. In the movie, it's kinda lame.

Other assorted things: These are things that are more minor, but I notice. The setting, costumes, and music were all fantastic (except maybe the singing. The singing felt weird). The music when Dauntless was first introduced made me so happy. It just fit. I'm mad it's not on Spotify. Seriously.

I wish there had been more of the fun chatter that happened in the book. I know, time is an issue in the movie, but some dialogue in the book made me laugh.
(For example:
"I'm going to shoot a muffin off Marlene's head."
Or “What did you do, memorize a map of the city for fun?' says Christina.
'Yes,' says Will, looking puzzled. 'Didn’t you?”
And “Peter would probably throw a party if I stopped breathing.' 
'Well,' he says, 'I would only go if there was cake.”)
Plus, in a movie like this, it never hurts to lift the mood. To quote Joss Whedon, "Make it dark, make it grim, make it tough, but then, for the love of God, tell a joke." Not exactly the language I'd choose, but true nonetheless.
Here is my favorite part about the movie, if I'm being honest: They took a book with a romantic subplot, kept the subplot in it, AND THERE'S ONE KISSING SCENE IN THE WHOLE MOVIE. ONE. PRAISE THE LORD. A long one, yes, but still. (I dislike most kissing scenes, in case you can't tell. They're awkward to watch.)

So. I would rate it about the same as The Hunger Games, for me anyway, which is like 7 out of 10. 

A Bird in A Cage - A Freewrite

The room is pitch-black and silent. 

I reach over and flip the light switch, flooding the classroom with fluorescent light. 

It looks like any old classroom. Desks in rows, a green chalk board, tile floor. 

I walk through the desks, weaving my way to the chalkboard. It’s blank, with nothing but chalk dust on it. I dip my fingers into my pocket, pulling out a slim piece of white chalk. 

And I draw. I draw lots of things, that won’t make sense to anyone but me.

A bird in a cage. The bird breaking free. The bird getting caught, captured. Her wings broken, she is thrust into another cage. This time it is lovely, large, detailed, beautiful. But it is still a cage. The bird beats her broken wings against the bars, trying to free herself. 

I realize I am crying as I draw. 

I stop drawing, the bird’s head only partially done. I rest my head against the chalkboard and breathe deep, calming myself. 

Then I lift my head and my hand and start drawing again.

Two little girls with daisies in their hair, playing below a white-hot sun. Then two older girls, at a wedding, with daisy bouquets in their hands. One a bride, the other her maid of honor. Then the girls wearing daisy-patterned aprons, each with a babe in their arms. Then at a grave, with wilted daisies lying at the headstone, clinging to each other through the tears.

I stare at the chalkboard silently, looking at my work. I reach up and wipe it away in three smooth strokes. Against the vaguely visible drawings I write.

They are coming. You must go. 

I sign my name--Alana--and sketch a daisy, and I turn to go.

I weave through the desks, brushing my hands against the scratched, battered wood. I turn the lights off, hiding my message from view. Then I close the door behind me and vanish once again.

UnSouled, by Neal Shusterman

Gosh, I love this series. I desperately hope UnDivided comes out soon.
Okay, I'm gonna try to make this less... scattered than usual.
Although I stayed up thinking about this book for like an hour after a finished it (which was already at like midnight) and then I dreamed about it, sooo it'll probably still be scattered because I have a lot of feelings.

Summary (taken from Goodreads.com, I love them): Connor and Lev are on the run after the destruction of the Graveyard, the last safe haven for AWOL Unwinds. But for the first time, they’re not just running away from something. This time, they’re running toward answers, in the form of a woman Proactive Citizenry has tried to erase from history itself. If they can find her, and learn why the shadowy figures behind unwinding are so afraid of her, they may discover the key to bringing down unwinding forever.
Cam, the rewound boy, is plotting to take down the organization that created him. Because he knows that if he can bring Proactive Citizenry to its knees, it will show Risa how he truly feels about her. And without Risa, Cam is having trouble remembering what it feels like to be human.
With the Juvenile Authority and vindictive parts pirates hunting them, the paths of Connor, Lev, Cam, and Risa will converge explosively—and everyone will be changed.
Neal Shusterman continues the adventure that VOYA called “poignant, compelling, and ultimately terrifying.”

The character who stood out to me the most was definitely Cam. He just... fascinates me. Because he repulsed me at first, but I love him, but I hate that he exists, and I despise what he stands for, but I feel so bad for him, and I like him. All at once. And he keeps me asking questions about life and death and Existence and I really, really, really wish I could meet him. The only thing I really against him is that he's trying to break up Conner and Risa. That is a big no-no. Also, his flirting at the beginning of the book was stupid and he needed to get over himself. I could totally understand it, but he was still stupid. Honestly, Cam, you're above that. I'm just... really scared that he's gonna get hurt. I love Cam, please, please don't hurt or change him.

Wil was an interesting addition. Maybe I missed it, but it also felt... random. I don't really like it when authors pull things things out that should have been referenced in previous books, but weren't. For example, Lev's time with the Arapache. I know we don't necessarily know everything about the books, but there is a HUGE difference from surprising your readers and being random.

Conner is his good old self, albeit somewhat a lot more on edge. I still love Lev, though he's a bit of a mystery. He's so much more calm and closed off than the other characters that it's harder to know what he's thinking. I like Risa a lot of course.

Starkey is an IDIOT. Freaking stupid, stupid, stupid you are playing right in to the Proactive Citizenry's hands, you fool!!!

For new characters, Grace and Una were the most fascinating to me. Argent is this creepy slimeball. How is Grace considered "low-cortical"? I don't understand that. She's brilliant.

I do think that this book was more of a set-up for the last book than it's own chronicle, if that makes sense. Not a whole lot happened. Things intensified and other things got explained, but there weren't many other things going on. It wasn't boring, I'm not saying that. It's like you can feel that the end is coming. It's like those ticking seconds before a bomb goes off.

Looking For Alaka, Champion (Spoilers), and Catching Fire

Catching Fire (the movie)

A round of applause for that movie please. 

Seriously. They followed the book and IT WAS AWESOME. Some little things were off, but I don't even care because it was EPIC. I just ugh, yes, love. Perfection.

Champion, by Marie Lu.

It started wonderfully. 

Intense, action-packed, interesting. I love the relationships in this book, especially in Day and June's families. The only relationship I dont like is Metias/Thomas, mostly because THOMAS WAS TOTALLY FLIRTING WITH JUNE IN THE FIRST BOOK. Like, seriously, does he like Metias or June? I did like how he died, because for a split-second there I thought he would kill Tess, which would have made me mad. I felt like his death was very in character and well-written. 

And, okay, I hated how Day and June split up. Not just because I SHIP IT SO MUCH (which I do), but because it felt... cliche. Unoriginal. I saw it coming as soon as I saw the word "coma." 

And now I'm mad BECAUSE OMC SO MANY FEEEEEEEEEEEELS. e_e

I should go read something calming and non-heartbreaking for once (hahahahaha, yeah right).

Looking For Alaska, by John Green

Oh, heavens me.

John Green's books are full of beauty and wisdom. There are words and sentences and pages that I want to read over and over and memorize.

And his characters are so life like. And first person by him is so very in-character. The way Hazel, in FiOS, told the story was totally different from Pudge's voice. 

They just... I don't know. Don't seem fake or contrived. 

Something that I think is incredibly refreshing is that he's not kidding you. He doesn't know everything. But he's honest and real and it's really nice. 

On the other hand.... his books have a lot of crap in them. Like, the whole first half of the book was the main characters smoking and drinking and talking about sex/making out. 

Talking about it, mind you, not having it.

So it's not a book that I'd just recommend to everyone. Which annoys me, because there's so much goodness in it. 

And I think, if you took that stuff out, the book flattens out, becomes less real, because that's what teenagers deal with all the time. I'm not trying to say the bad stuff is okay, I'm saying I know why he writes like that. John Green is really good at making his books relatable and realistic to teenagers, which I appreciate.

And yeah, it made me cry. Not as hard as FiOS, but still.