A FreeWrite

A tiny ghost of a girl ran down the street. She was short and so skinny she was seemed barely there. Her skin was almost deathly pale. Her thin, dark brown hair was cut short, right at her jaw. Her earrings were black wings that looked strangely angelic. Her sneakers barely thudded against the asphalt, she weighed so little. She sprinted faster, faster. Her heart pounded, and she knew she wouldn't make it.

Her pursuers were faster, stronger, and far more dangerous than before.
She skidded around a corner. Loud breathing followed her, and the thud, thud, thud, as heavy boots pounded against the road.

"Please," she whispered to the air. Her voice was cracked and breathy from running. "Please, let me escape."

She could see the drop-off. A cliff, a sheer drop into... nothing. Pure grey mist clung to the edge of the city, concealing the bottom of the cliff.
She froze, her body stopping with incredibly fast reflexes. She glanced behind her once.

They were there, sliding to a halt to keep from falling. They sneered, sure they had caught her now.

"Please," she breathed once more.

Then she flung herself off the cliff.

She tumbled through the air, her body twisting around the mist. It was cold and wet and grey. Her descent was surprisingly slow, but still fast enough to crush her body at the bottom. The fog choked her, taking away her screams. The air opened up, revealing dry, dusty dirt.

She hit the ground.

It took a full minute to realize she wasn't dead.

She spit out the dirt on her tongue. Her body ached, and her ankle was twisted at a weird angle, but she most certainly wasn't was hurt as she should be. She rolled onto her back and looked up. The fog started about seven feet above her. She could see nothing through it. She pushed herself up and looked around.

From Pinterest 

She was in a wasteland. It was a perfect circle, with about a twenty foot radius. It was split into quarters once the dirt ended. A dark, dense forest spread from on quarter, around 12:00 to 3:00. Next to it was a meadow, filled with sickly sweet smelling flowers and green grass up to the girl's waist. From 6 to 9 was water, a lake. It was glassy and still, without a wave or ripple. The final quarter was snow. It fell thick and white onto ice. She studied them all and then turned to the forest.

Now someone stood there. A wraith-like young woman, perhaps a bit older than the girl. She looked mostly normal, black cropped t-shirt, skinny jeans, Converse. Her hair was long and tangled down her back. Her tan skin glowed and shimmered like she would vanish any moment. But the most unnatural part were the jet black wings that spread from behind her shoulder blades. They arched over her, high, the tips hidden in the fog.

Allegiant, by Veronica Roth ****SPOILERS****

If you haven't read Allegiant yet, and plan on it (which you should. It's the third and final Divergent book. Go to the library now), then stop reading this.
Seriously.
Okay.
Here we go.

Pinterest picture

Well, I had a very nice, thought out review-thing while I was reading it. Good parts, bad parts.
And then I got to the end.

Short version, I flipped through the last couple chapters after Tris died because I couldn't - and still can't - wrap my mind around it. I was checking to make sure it wasn't real.

.........

Then I threw it across the room and burst into tears.

Um.

SHE'S DEAD.

MY SHIP SANK. INTO AN OBLIVION OF DEATH.

WHAT. THE. HECK.


I refuse to accept this. And I should have seen it coming, I really should have, but I wasn't paying attention.

Like, I get it, but it just feels wrong. It makes sense, but I really wish she hadn't died. I wish David hadn't been in there. Because it feels wrong. And I love, love, love Veronica Roth, I love the books, but she's set such a high standard for herself with Divergent, I'm pretty sad about this one.

Okay, the rest of the book.

1) I didn't like allllllll the Four and Tris moments. I love them (obviously), but there was a lot of making out when I wanted action. I just really liked in the first book when Tris was terrified of that because we almost never see that in YA fiction, and it seemed more realistic. And then she got over it and they kiss a lot.

2) I'm really, really disappointed Uriah died. I didn't even like him all that much (don't get me wrong, I did like him, but his death did not have the same reaction as the above one), it's just that I'd seen everyone on the internet say he would die, that I wanted something unexpected.

3) I liked and disliked having Four's perspective. I liked it because it was cool to see his thoughts and stuff. I liked the Free Four short better, though.
I disliked it because it took away a lot of his mysteriousness. And once we got to the end, we obviously needed him, but still. I loved him talking about his parents, and his fears of being like them and stuff. I admire how Veronica Roth manages to make him vulnerable without making him weak. It's impressive (although, he was a tad more annoying and pathetic in this book. Seriously. Mostly the whole "I'm damaged wahhhh. I hate my life boo-hoo-hoo").

4) Amar... I'd never heard of him before. He just popped out of nowhere and it bugged me. I would have expected some references to him, at least. Now, maybe there was one, and I didn't remember, but it felt so random.

5) I have quotes that I will put on here tomorrow. There was the love and choices one, and the God one. Love, love, looooved those parts.

So yes and no. I'm incredibly conflicted.
I must say, the first Divergent book gave me really high expectations, and while I still really like Insurgent and Allegiant, the first is still the best.

The Fault In Our Stars, by John Green

This book basically took all emotional books I've ever read and then made them look like... Disneyland. I was literally crying so hard I couldn't read the words. That has never happened in my whole life.

I liked how down right real it felt. Usually I read fantasy and such, but I really liked this. It wasn't some crappy teenage drama/love story. There wasn't this perfect, attractive, dark hero. There wasn't an annoying girl who the guy loves even though we all hate her.

There was however, a flawed, attractive, hilarious boy who might have pushed Leo Valdez down a rung on the Hierarchy of Fictional Males Addi Is In Love With. (Sorry, Leo. I still love you.)  And a very pretty, extremely smart girl who I want to be my friend. Seriously. 

The first half of the book was perfect. It was almost completely happy. 

Oh, Augustus Waters and Hazel Grace Lancaster. I love you. 

I liked the book a lot, from the beginning. But the moment I fell completely, head-over-heels in love with the book was page 33. Augustus asks what Hazel's favorite book is and Hazel (she's the narrator) tells the reader this:

"My favorite book, by a wide margin, was An Imperial Affliction, but I didn't like to tell people about it. Sometimes, you read a book, and it fills you with this weird, evangelical zeal, and you become convinced that the shattered world will never be put back together unless and until all living humans read the book. And then there are books like An Imperial Affliction, which you can't tell people about, books so special and rare and yours that advertising your affection feels like a betrayal. And it wasn't even that the book was so good or anything; it was just the author, Peter Van Houten, seemed to understand me in weird and impossible ways. An Imperial Affliction was my book, the way my body was my body and my thoughts were my thoughts."

And then I fell in love. Because I've felt that. The weird, evangelical zeal, and the books that are just mine. But I never heard it said, and certainly not so eloquently and beautifully. 

Augustus writes his number in a book he lets Hazel borrow, and I'm like "Well, that's genius. Take notes, boys." He always says he's "grand" when people ask how he is. He texts Hazel and freaks out about the end of a book, and there I started cracking up because it reminded me of me and one of my friends. He has a prosthetic leg. He has non-lit cigarettes all the time because it's a metaphor. He wants to be a hero, but he really isn't. He's a terrible driver. He hates basketball, even though he's really good.

And Hazel. She thinks deep thoughts. She reads. She flirts, even though she doesn't really know how. She has a couple poems memorized. She hates the violence in movies. She sucks at video games, but plays them with Isaac and Augustus to make them happy. She has crappy lungs. She's scared of being a grenade. She's taking college classes, even though she's like sixteen. She thinks it's an injustice against scrambled eggs that they are only a breakfast food. She's crazy smart. 

They kiss and stuff, but it's not like the kissing in any other young adult novel I've ever read. They're slow, and scared. It's not "hot" or anything. It's just... precious. Because they are seriously terrified of hurting each other (they're dying. Of course they're terrified).

Augustus says, on the very last page, "I love her. I am so lucky to love her, Van Houten. You don't get to choose if you get hurt in this world, old man, but you do have some say in who hurts you. I like my choices. I hope she likes hers."

It was the most poetic, beautiful book I've read in a long time.

I love it. Partly because, honestly, Hazel and Gus reminded me of me and a friend of mine. Only, we're less romantic and less... dying. >_>

I disagree with parts of it, of course. They cuss quite a bit. I don't really approve of teenager sex. But I understand their emotions and choices, even though I don't necessarily like them.

I loooooooooooooooooooved this part: 

"'Sometimes people don't understand the promises they're making when they make them,' I said. 

Isaac shot me a look. 'Right, of course. But you keep the promise anyway. That's what love is. Love is keeping the promise anyway. Don't you believe in true love?' 

I didn't answer. I didn't have an answer. But I thought that if true love did exist, that was a pretty good definition of it."

That, my friend, is quite possibly the best definition of love ever written in a modern young adult work of fiction.

Now go read the book. 

Why /I/ Love Harry Potter

Ah, Harry Potter. Quote possibly the most controversial series among teenage Christians.

The reason is, of course, witchcraft is specifically forbidden in the Bible. You're told not to mess with it.

I know this. I completely understand and respect it if that's why you stay away from Harry Potter.

Here is what I don't like: when people refuse to say anything good about Harry Potter.

I think that the whole wizardry and Hogwarts and magic stuff, those aren't actually the main point. That is the setting, the fictional part.

The actual story set in this fictional world is beautiful.

It deals with themes that kids and adults face all the time. It also got tons of kids reading, which I appreciate more than words can describe.

The themes I'm talking about are love, friendship, death, depression, fear, hope, courage, sacrifice, corruption, and so, so many other things.

And they aren't like, petty things. They stick with you. 

So could you please not immediately call the books evil and stupid and such? Yes, everyone has opinions, but could you possibly research your opinion before you choose it?

I was not allowed to read the books until maybe three years ago (2010, the year The Deathly Hallows Part 2 came out). My Mom was extremely reluctant to let me read them. But I still knew bits and pieces about the books from my cousin and the two minutes from one of the movies. So I never really understood how people thought they were "evil".

I had a debate about this via text last year with a kid at school. I'm sorry, but it was one of those cases where he honestly did not know what he was talking about. It didn't help his case that I miiiight have been judging his grammar the whole time. *cough*

I also didn't really see how people could hate on Harry Potter for being about wizards and stuff and then love The Lord of the Rings, which also has wizardry and magic. The boy I debated it with last year just said "Well no, da Lord of da Rings is a classic" which made me want to smack something. The length of time a book has been in existence does not, contrary to popular belief, change whether or not it is good (I love the Lord of the Rings, of course. But I would love them even if they came out a thousand years ago or yesterday). One girl I know said she could watch/read Lord of the Rings because they were written from a Christian basis, and Harry Potter was not, which I liked and understood much, much better.

Now here's why I love the books. This is me and my opinion, and I wish I had more quotes to back me up, but I don't own the books. >_<

First, like I said above, they deal with normal, everyday themes. Love is one of the huge foundations of the books. The reason Harry is alive at all is because of his mother's love for him. She shielded him with love so that Voldemort's curse bounced off of Harry. And then there's the Weasley family, who is so totally loving it's ridiculous. Mrs. Weasley meets Harry once (ONCE!) and makes him a Christmas sweater just like he's one of their family because Ron told her he wouldn't have presents. Honestly, this is something I wish Christians would be like way more. And then there's the friendship love, between Harry, Ron, and Hermione (well, less so between Hermione and Ron, but that's another story). They all stick together through (almost) everything. But they still have issues, still fight sometimes (Ron) and sometimes have to leave to clear their thoughts(Ron), and they don't always get it right (Ron). But they forgive, forget, and move on to the next save-the-world thing they have to deal with. 

Death is a depressingly large part of the book. Harry's an orphan, for starters. His parents died saving him. And then in the fourth book, a student is killed, which I think seriously shows us how very ruthless Voldemort is as a villain. Before, all the bad things he did were in the past, to characters we had heard of but didn't know. Now it's a Hogwarts student dying, now it's real. And then in the last book tons of people die. I found something on Pinterest... *looks*

Aha. Nah. Too many spoilers.
But I do think a lot of the deaths weren't just random characters. They did all represent something. And they all died fighting and defending Hogwarts and good things and Muggles and freedom.

Courage. Oh, my dear Neville. :) In the first book, Dumbledore gives Neville a bunch of house points and says something like "It takes courage to stand up to one's enemies, but even more to stand up to one's friends" (pretty sure I botched that quote, but that's the gist of it). I think this is super applicable to Christian life. I know I've been terrified to talk to my friends about Jesus and stuff for fear of losing their friendship. So I think I should remember that part and apply it to life. 

Sacrifice. Ah, this plays into the love and death part again. But there's also smaller sacrifices, too. Harry gives money to Fred and George to start their shop (which, since Harry is rich, isn't actually that much of a sacrifice, but I'm making a point). Hermione and Ron give up their last year of Hogwarts to help Harry. Hermione makes her family forget her to save them. Dobby... nope. Not going there.

And then there's the fact that HALF OF THE TIMES THEY SAVE THE DAY IS BECAUSE HERMIONE IS A GENIUS and she's like "Let's go look this up." If that doesn't show kids to read and study and stuff, I don't know what will.

Luna is one of the kindest and most patient and forgiving characters ever, even if she is a little crazy. People should emulate her attitude as well, her appreciation of everything, and her patience with jerks and her kindness to Harry and the Threstrals (is that how it's spelled?) and the Hippogriffs. I love her. u_u

The books also show the epic power of chocolate. u_u

In conclusion, the Harry Potter books are about courage and friendship and loyalty and love and family and confronting your fears and standing up for what's right. It's well-written, original, with a deep plot. The characters are well rounded and seem real, with personalities and characteristics. The books are funny and intense and good. As for the evil part, well that's your decision. However, the books are works of fiction. They also emphasize the light side of magic. The kids are trained in Defense Against The Dark Arts. If they were bad books (literature wise), I kinda doubt there would be 8 movies, a huge fandom, an amusement park, and three musicals about it. 

People Should Seriously Read More. And Think More. And Be Less Stupid in General.

I hate stupidity in all forms. Especially when it comes to not reading.

I can deal with  faults.
All but one.
And that one is dislike and disregard of reading and books and literature.
It. Drives. Me. Crazy.
Some people have excuses. But most just claim they hate reading.
To which I instantly cry "HOOOOOW?!?!?!?!"
The answer is, almost always "It's boring."

....

What?

How is reading boring? How are those words even in the same sentence?
Now, some books are just a struggle to read. For example, we're reading the Scarlet Letter in school right now. And while I like the story, I'm struggling with this book. But there are soooo many other books out there! There's knowledge and adventure and life and happiness and imagination and everything!

Do you know how much I've learned from books in my life?

A lot.

Respect. Friendship. Freedom. Love. Adventure. Hope. Choices. Mythology. Duty. How epic the world is and how brilliant people can be. How broken the world is and how cruel people can be. History. God. How to strategically design a fortress. How to make a sword. Cultures. People. How to be logical, for crying out loud. How to take over the world. How to destroy a world. How surprisingly often God shows up in books (that probably has a lot to do with my worldview, but still). How choices have consequences. Morals.

And a looooot more.

I've become hundreds of characters and been to thousands of places.

It's like, my personality, my mind, my soul, is a book. And every book I've read has added something to my soul book, be it a sentence, a paragraph, a page, or a whole chapter. They're helping shape me.

Nancy Drew and the American Girl books started it. And then I was reading anything I could get my hands on when I was like eleven. School books. Classics. Fantasy. It seriously didn't matter to me. I was almost addicted to the words and thoughts etched into paper. I was amazed at how books made me feel and think. Still am.

I think the most important lesson I've learned is how to relate to people. Reading has given me a heightened sense of empathy.

I wouldn't trade that knowledge for anything. How could anyone not want that?

I feel like, if people read more, they'd think more. They'd appreciate more. Intelligence would be so much more common. People would be less stupid.

But they don't read. They live in their bubbles of stupidity. I hate it. Things like "YOLO" and the word "Cray-cray" drive me so insane. It's like people don't realize they have a brain that they can use to make rational decisions.

Personally, I don't want to go out and do stupid stuff because "YOLO". I want to make something out of my life and build it and use it to make things better for people.

I hate stupidity. By "stupidity" I mean the conscious act of not using your God-given brain, whether it be by cheating on a test that you could easily pass if you tried, or by making a dumbed down movie, or by getting drunk for the sake of "YOLO", or anything. Can't you people at least try to be smart? I know you are, deep, deep down.

End of rant. 

A Thousand Splendid Suns, by Khaled Hosseini

I just finished A Thousand Splendid Suns. 

Yes. 

Well. 

It's one of those books that I kinda know will be crazy sad and go in with that mindset, determined not to cry...

And I was still stuck crying my eyes out for over half the book. It's up there with The Book Thief and Unwind as far as my emotions go. 

It. Was. Amazing. 

First, let me say there was some sex in it. Not like, graphic, or anything. It was like the sex scene in the Les Miserables movie. You know what's going on, but you don't see anything, because of camera angles. But just so you know going into it, it's there. 

There was a lot of violence, too. So if you're squeamish about that, be warned. It takes place during a war, and the husband is extremely abusive.

Now for the epic parts. 

Amazing characters. 

Heartbreaking plot. 

Extremely well written. 

Miriam, for Pete's sake. She. Is. So. Epic. 

It was really engaging. It was so easy to understand, even though it's about a world that's very different from America. And this might partially be my TCKness, but I could see the places and people. 

I just need people to all read all the books I read so they understand my brain and know what I know.

Some things that stuck out to me: 

One of the girls is about to abort her child, about to kill the baby. It's her second pregnancy, and she's scared she won't be able to love the kid as much as her first child (they have different fathers). But she can't do it. 

"...She could not accept what the Mujahideen so readily had: That sometimes in war innocent life had to be taken. Her war was against Rasheed. The baby was blameless. And there had been enough killing already. Laila had seen enough killing of innocents in the crossfire of enemies."

I feel like that needs to be remembered and thought about a lot more than it is. People are so quick to disregard life, I think. We talked about this in apologetics. We were watching a movie, and all these atheists kept saying things about how life is meaningless and people have no purpose and it's all in vain and blah blah blah, and we were all like "How can you say that? Why do people choose to believe that?" 

I just liked that quote from the book, where she figured out who her fight was with, and how her baby's life was important and innocent and how the kid deserved to exist. 

There was a part when the government burned books, banned poetry, music, dancing and writing, and also took away all women's rights. My blood ran with fury and hatred. That's something that happens in the dystopian novels I read, not in reality. Apparently I was wrong about that. I'm still really mad. 

I will never be able to watch Pinocchio or Titanic normally again. 

This is one of the times I'm just mad at the stupidity of humans and Satan for screwing everything up and I want to fix everything and whyyyyy can't the world realize the incredible value of life and freedom and beauty and everything. 

This book was historical fiction, it took place between 1959 and 2003. So it's pretty recent. And it was written for a reason. The dude had a note in the back of how you can help people in Afghanistan and stuff. 

I really, really liked it. 

The end. 

House of Hades, by Rick Riordan

Oh, my.

Uncle Rick, I don't think any of your books have messed with my emotions this much since... Ever. 

Warning to all y'all reading this: SPOILERS.

Nico. That just... Grr... Now, I know gay people. I know that it's out there. I don't hate gay people.  Buuuut, this is Nico. I love Nico. I had a fictional character crush on him. I didn't see that coming (well, until like the chapter before.

Caleo. As soon as he landed I was like "I know this place. Oh, no. He'll never leave."

And then they started fighting. And I was like "Well, okay..."

When they started helping each other, and being like, friends, that was when I was like, "YESYESYESYES." Third best couple in these books. u_u the first two being Tysella and Percabeth. ;) But Leo, swearing on the Styx.... Gahhhhhh, don't you dare die on me, my love. 

Hedge being a dad. I KNEW IT. HOORAY!!!!!!! :D

Beautiful Percabeth. Best. Couple. Ever. I want a relationship like that sooo much. They have so much trust and love, and contrary to most couples in books, they aren't making out every five seconds. I love them.

Frank getting epic and tough and... attractive. Well, that was unexpected. I'm so proud of him. And kinda sad. (Yes I know he's a fictional character. Hush.)

In this book, more than any others, I saw the characters changing. Jason seemed waaaay more Greek. Percy seemed... Older. More broken. Annabeth had to make some serious choices. Frank grew up. And he gained something and lost something from that. Leo got less joking and more mature. Hazel got stronger. Piper, too. They all seem more confident. 

And then there's Nico. 

Still not sure how I feel about that. >_>

And Bob. :( yes, I knew that would happen, but still. No. At least it's better than Percy or Annabeth. 

Honestly, I looooooooved the whole book, except the Nico part.

I've been reading Percy Jackson since I was like in sixth grade. That's like...  five years? They are my childhood. I grew up with Percy and Annabeth. And now that they're growing up and changing... It's weird. I think most of the people who read the books are like that. We started reading the books when we were little and innocent, and now we're... not. And neither are the characters.

My little brother and sister are reading the first couple of Percy Jackson books. And I feel so weird to think that I was that little once. I'M ONLY SIXTEEN I SHOULD NOT FEEL THIS OLD.

So. Yes. Excellent book. Surprising, but excellent.